Archive:SoulStorm Brew - Promotions: Difference between revisions

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* Published: 1998
* Published: 1998
* Host: Oddworld.com
* Host: Oddworld.com
* Format: [https://web.archive.org/web/20000229125117/http://oddworld.com:80/abes.exoddus/shock/index.htm Publised Online]
* Format: [https://web.archive.org/web/20000229125117/http://oddworld.com:80/abes.exoddus/shock/index.htm Published Online]


= The Article=
= The Article=

Revision as of 08:45, 26 May 2017

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The Article


The Ninth Annual Mudokon Toss 500, sponsored by SoulStorm Brew
This Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! Come join in the fun at the Mudos Arena for Mudokon Tossing like you’ve never seen it before! It’s sure to be a hot contest when returning champion Mike ‘The Mudokon Slayer’ meets up with scrappy newcomer, Mills ‘The Mudokon Maimer’! Be one of the first 50,000 there and get your free foam ‘#1 Hand’ sporting the always‐pleasing SoulStorm Brew Logo. As always, guests under 12 get all the SoulStorm Brew they can drink for free!

‘A Celebration of Debilitating Addiction,’ at the Glukkon Museum of Modern Technocracy, sponsored by SoulStorm Brew.
We here at SoulStorm Brewery are firm supporters of the Arts and InHumanities. As such, we’re proud to be the principal sponsors of this intriguing look at what makes the population of Mudos—​from Gen. Molluk, right on down to that rat fink Abe—​tick. It’s all about producing a need and then milking it for all it’s worth … truly breath taking and a must‐see if you’re in the area.

‘The First One’s Free’ On-Going Promotion
There are some ‘firsts’ in life that should always be special: Your first day of work for any of Molluk’s corporations; Your first Paramite Pie; Your first existential epiphany during which you’re confronted with the face of your own worthlessness. ’Til now, these firsts always came at some type of personal or financial cost … but—​thanks to SoulStorm Brewery—​at least one of those firsts can be free. Announcing the indefinite continuation of SoulStorm Brewery’s ‘The First One’s Free’ campaign. Any Oddworldian can go experience one of life’s greatest pleasures…and not have to spend a penny! * ‘When we started the “First One’s Free” campaign a couplea’ years ago, we didn’t really have high hopes for it,‘ explains SoulStorm Vice President Aslik. ‘But it’s become apparent that our customers WANT that first drink for free…and as long as we know they’ll keep coming back for more, we’re more than happy to give it to ’em!’

* The first SoulStorm Brew is free. Every additional SoulStorm Brew will cost approximately _ more than you can afford. When your tab runs to an amount to be determined by us, you will be sent to the SoulStorm Brewery to work off your debt in misery.

So what are you waiting for?

Act Now!