Oddworld Network Articles - Revision history

Xavier at 13:17, 29 August 2019

2019-08-29T13:17:23Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:17, 29 August 2019
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	<s>Witnesses are reporting many large congregations of Mudokons, which we can exclusively reveal are actually M.A.A meetings.</s>		<s>Witnesses are reporting many large congregations of Mudokons, which we can exclusively reveal are actually M.A.A meetings.</s>

	</s>Due to the spurious messages being spouted by the terrorist, Mudokons have previously been forbidden to congregate and socialise for fear of further attacks being planned. Now, thanks to the founding of M.A.A, these groups are forming in order to help find and bring Abe to justice.</s>		<s>Due to the spurious messages being spouted by the terrorist, Mudokons have previously been forbidden to congregate and socialise for fear of further attacks being planned. Now, thanks to the founding of M.A.A, these groups are forming in order to help find and bring Abe to justice.</s>

Xavier at 13:16, 29 August 2019

2019-08-29T13:16:29Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:16, 29 August 2019
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	=Dopey Dissidents Die Dumbly=		=Dopey Dissidents Die Dumbly=

			==Initial version==

	'''5 Dissident Mudokons died yesterday''' when their failed attempt to weaken temporary structures back-fired.		'''5 Dissident Mudokons died yesterday''' when their failed attempt to weaken temporary structures back-fired.
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	Thankfully, due to the build quality of all temporary structures, the damage was limited and none of the expert security forces were harmed. It definitely didn’t catch fire and it definitely didn’t destroy 8 entire floors before burning several Sligs to death.		Thankfully, due to the build quality of all temporary structures, the damage was limited and none of the expert security forces were harmed. It definitely didn’t catch fire and it definitely didn’t destroy 8 entire floors before burning several Sligs to death.

			It would appear that as the number of those opposed to Abe’s violent acts increases, the lonely few left supporting him are a few sharp teeth short of a Slog jaw.

			==Hidden message==

			'''5 Dissident Mudokons died yesterday''' when their failed attempt to weaken temporary structures back-'''''fire'''''d.

			In what is believed to be an effort to '''''compromise''''' security and reduce the productivity of other employees, a '''''temporary structure''''' was tampered with, resulting in its partial collapse and killing those responsible in an apparent act of Quarma.

			Thankfully, due to the '''''build quality''''' of all temporary structures, the damage was '''''limited''''' and none of the expert security forces were harmed. It '''''definitely''''' didn’t catch fire and it definitely didn’t '''''destroy''''' 8 entire floors before burning several '''''Slig'''''s to death.

	It would appear that as the number of those opposed to Abe’s violent acts increases, the lonely few left supporting him are a few sharp teeth short of a Slog jaw.		It would appear that as the number of those opposed to Abe’s violent acts increases, the lonely few left supporting him are a few sharp teeth short of a Slog jaw.

Xavier at 13:12, 29 August 2019

2019-08-29T13:12:20Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:12, 29 August 2019
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	==Hidden Message==		==Hidden Message==

	<s>A dramatic turn of events this past week has</s> s <s>een numerous Mud</s> o <s>kons, once ordered to silence by the terrorist Abe, begin speaking out against their fellow e</s> m <s>ployee.</s>		<s>A dramatic turn of events this past week has</s> '''s''' <s>een numerous Mud</s> '''o''' <s>kons, once ordered to silence by the terrorist Abe, begin speaking out against their fellow e</s> '''m''' <s>ployee.</s>

	<s>Finally allowed to communicate th</s> a <s>nks to their ge</s> n <s>erous and protective emplo</s> y <s>ers, these Mudokons have formed an anti-Abe group calling itself M.A.A – Muds Against Abe.</s>		<s>Finally allowed to communicate th</s> '''a''' <s>nks to their ge</s> '''n''' <s>erous and protective emplo</s> '''y''' <s>ers, these Mudokons have formed an anti-Abe group calling itself M.A.A – Muds Against Abe.</s>

	<s>Estimated to have hundreds, if not thousands of members, these Mudokons have ra</s> l <s>lied together to not only denounce the v</s> i <s>olent and ruthless actions of Ab</s> e <s>, but also </s> s <s>how their gratitude for the employment – and all the many benefits associated with it – they have been given.</s>		<s>Estimated to have hundreds, if not thousands of members, these Mudokons have ra</s> '''l''' <s>lied together to not only denounce the v</s> '''i''' <s>olent and ruthless actions of Ab</s> '''e''' <s>, but also</s> '''s''' <s>how their gratitude for the employment – and all the many benefits associated with it – they have been given.</s>

	<s>M.A.A is already proving itself to be a vital weapon in the pursuit and capture of the rogue terrorist. By reducing the number of Abe’s allies to just a few and increasing the scale of the already-extensive intelligence network, security forces are confident that Abe’s capture is imminent.</s>		<s>M.A.A is already proving itself to be a vital weapon in the pursuit and capture of the rogue terrorist. By reducing the number of Abe’s allies to just a few and increasing the scale of the already-extensive intelligence network, security forces are confident that Abe’s capture is imminent.</s>

Xavier at 13:10, 29 August 2019

2019-08-29T13:10:07Z

@@ Line 147: / Line 147: @@
 =Mudokons Form New Anti-Terrorist Movement=
 '''A dramatic turn of events this past week''' has seen numerous Mudokons, once ordered to silence by the terrorist Abe, begin speaking out against their fellow employee.
@@ Line 161: / Line 163: @@
 Due to the spurious messages being spouted by the terrorist, Mudokons have previously been forbidden to congregate and socialise for fear of further attacks being planned. Now, thanks to the founding of M.A.A, these groups are forming in order to help find and bring Abe to justice.
 =Authorities Close in as Fugitive Finds Nowhere to Hide=

Xavier at 12:53, 27 August 2019

2019-08-27T12:53:06Z

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 =7 Foolproof Ways to Keep Your Job=
 Life can be a fleeting thing. It can end without a moment’s notice and before you know it, all you have left behind is a stain on the floor. And walls. And ceiling.
@@ Line 18: / Line 20: @@
 . '''Show Some Appreciation.''' We don’t ask for much during your employment. However, the opportunity you have been afforded is not an insignificant one, so be sure to show some appreciation from time-to-time. This could be in the form of a simple bow when in the presence of your superiors. It could be in the form of working even harder. It could even be in the form of volunteering yourself to take part in trials for new products. It’s always nice to have a choice.
 simple steps, one goal: Retain your employment, elongate your existence and finally be a part of something amazing.

Xavier at 07:22, 27 August 2019

2019-08-27T07:22:27Z

Show changes

Xavier at 07:10, 27 August 2019

2019-08-27T07:10:05Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 00:10, 27 August 2019
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	But it doesn’t have to be that way. Follow these 7 fool-proof tips to keeping your job* and you’ll find that your life has a lot more meaning.		But it doesn’t have to be that way. Follow these 7 fool-proof tips to keeping your job* and you’ll find that your life has a lot more meaning.

	1. Learn the Ropes. And by “ropes” we mean “various messes left behind by your less-productive colleagues.” It may sound simple but you’ll need to adapt to the plethora of bodily fluids and organic matter that many lifeforms secrete during torture, experimentation, industrial mishaps and/or execution. Blood, for example, requires a completely different chemical and cleaning motion to, say, brain matter. If you know what you’re facing, you’ll know how to tackle the problem.		1. '''Learn the Ropes.''' And by “ropes” we mean “various messes left behind by your less-productive colleagues.” It may sound simple but you’ll need to adapt to the plethora of bodily fluids and organic matter that many lifeforms secrete during torture, experimentation, industrial mishaps and/or execution. Blood, for example, requires a completely different chemical and cleaning motion to, say, brain matter. If you know what you’re facing, you’ll know how to tackle the problem.

	2. Know Your Place. As a lowly Mudokon at the bottom of the career ladder, you will encounter many different beings during your tenure at our wonderful facilities.. Pretty much all of these will be your superiors. You must not ask questions, you must not wonder why things happen, you must not doubt your orders. Everything you do, your entire existence, is to help with the smooth-running of your assigned facility. The sooner you come to terms with this, the sooner you’ll not die.		2. '''Know Your Place.''' As a lowly Mudokon at the bottom of the career ladder, you will encounter many different beings during your tenure at our wonderful facilities.. Pretty much all of these will be your superiors. You must not ask questions, you must not wonder why things happen, you must not doubt your orders. Everything you do, your entire existence, is to help with the smooth-running of your assigned facility. The sooner you come to terms with this, the sooner you’ll not die.

	3. Renounce Free Thought. As a member of the team, there will be no place for free or independent thinking and/or uniqueness. You are there to blend in. Mudokons shouldn’t be heard and/or seen. If, for any reason, you suddenly find yourself at the center of your superiors’ attentions, then mistakes have been made and you will be held accountable.		3. '''Renounce Free Thought.''' As a member of the team, there will be no place for free or independent thinking and/or uniqueness. You are there to blend in. Mudokons shouldn’t be heard and/or seen. If, for any reason, you suddenly find yourself at the center of your superiors’ attentions, then mistakes have been made and you will be held accountable.

	4. Ignore Your Colleagues. We aren’t running a social club here so keep yourself to yourself. Interacting with your fellow Mudokons is strictly forbidden and no good will come of you thinking otherwise. This includes talking, laughing, whistling, singing, chanting, breaking wind and/or warning your colleagues. Doing so will not only cause discomfort for you, but it will also cause those with whom you engage discomfort.		4. '''Ignore Your Colleagues.''' We aren’t running a social club here so keep yourself to yourself. Interacting with your fellow Mudokons is strictly forbidden and no good will come of you thinking otherwise. This includes talking, laughing, whistling, singing, chanting, breaking wind and/or warning your colleagues. Doing so will not only cause discomfort for you, but it will also cause those with whom you engage discomfort.

	5. Increase Your Stamina. You may notice that those around you have a similar look about them: pale, wiry and dishevelled. This is proven to be the optimal performance state. Those who have yet to reach this preferred body type have either succumbed to the pressures of work or are on a strict diet that will help them to reach this optimal working condition. We realise you can’t change overnight, which is why we give you two nights to change your entire physical presence.		5. '''Increase Your Stamina.''' You may notice that those around you have a similar look about them: pale, wiry and dishevelled. This is proven to be the optimal performance state. Those who have yet to reach this preferred body type have either succumbed to the pressures of work or are on a strict diet that will help them to reach this optimal working condition. We realise you can’t change overnight, which is why we give you two nights to change your entire physical presence.

	6. Respect Our Authority. We are aware of the rumours that have been illegally spread about us. Glukkons have been called “unfair,” “unreasonable,” and “unrelenting.” In fact, the only thing that is unfair, unreasonable and unrelenting are the rumours themselves. You’ll do well to remember this. Any employee found spreading, listening to and/or accommodating such rumours will be dealt with in a swift and just manner.		6. '''Respect Our Authority.''' We are aware of the rumours that have been illegally spread about us. Glukkons have been called “unfair,” “unreasonable,” and “unrelenting.” In fact, the only thing that is unfair, unreasonable and unrelenting are the rumours themselves. You’ll do well to remember this. Any employee found spreading, listening to and/or accommodating such rumours will be dealt with in a swift and just manner.

	7. Show Some Appreciation. We don’t ask for much during your employment. However, the opportunity you have been afforded is not an insignificant one, so be sure to show some appreciation from time-to-time. This could be in the form of a simple bow when in the presence of your superiors. It could be in the form of working even harder. It could even be in the form of volunteering yourself to take part in trials for new products. It’s always nice to have a choice.		7. '''Show Some Appreciation.''' We don’t ask for much during your employment. However, the opportunity you have been afforded is not an insignificant one, so be sure to show some appreciation from time-to-time. This could be in the form of a simple bow when in the presence of your superiors. It could be in the form of working even harder. It could even be in the form of volunteering yourself to take part in trials for new products. It’s always nice to have a choice.
	7 simple steps, one goal: Retain your employment, elongate your existence and finally be a part of something amazing.		7 simple steps, one goal: Retain your employment, elongate your existence and finally be a part of something amazing.

	*and life.		''*and life.''

Xavier: Created page with "=7 Foolproof Ways to Keep Your Job= Life can be a fleeting thing. It can end without a moment’s notice and before you know it, all you have left behind is a stain on the fl..."

2019-08-27T07:07:04Z

Created page with "=7 Foolproof Ways to Keep Your Job= Life can be a fleeting thing. It can end without a moment’s notice and before you know it, all you have left behind is a stain on the fl..."

New page

=7 Foolproof Ways to Keep Your Job=

Life can be a fleeting thing. It can end without a moment’s notice and before you know it, all you have left behind is a stain on the floor. And walls. And ceiling.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. Follow these 7 fool-proof tips to keeping your job* and you’ll find that your life has a lot more meaning.

1. Learn the Ropes. And by “ropes” we mean “various messes left behind by your less-productive colleagues.” It may sound simple but you’ll need to adapt to the plethora of bodily fluids and organic matter that many lifeforms secrete during torture, experimentation, industrial mishaps and/or execution. Blood, for example, requires a completely different chemical and cleaning motion to, say, brain matter. If you know what you’re facing, you’ll know how to tackle the problem.

2. Know Your Place. As a lowly Mudokon at the bottom of the career ladder, you will encounter many different beings during your tenure at our wonderful facilities.. Pretty much all of these will be your superiors. You must not ask questions, you must not wonder why things happen, you must not doubt your orders. Everything you do, your entire existence, is to help with the smooth-running of your assigned facility. The sooner you come to terms with this, the sooner you’ll not die.

3. Renounce Free Thought. As a member of the team, there will be no place for free or independent thinking and/or uniqueness. You are there to blend in. Mudokons shouldn’t be heard and/or seen. If, for any reason, you suddenly find yourself at the center of your superiors’ attentions, then mistakes have been made and you will be held accountable.

4. Ignore Your Colleagues. We aren’t running a social club here so keep yourself to yourself. Interacting with your fellow Mudokons is strictly forbidden and no good will come of you thinking otherwise. This includes talking, laughing, whistling, singing, chanting, breaking wind and/or warning your colleagues. Doing so will not only cause discomfort for you, but it will also cause those with whom you engage discomfort.

5. Increase Your Stamina. You may notice that those around you have a similar look about them: pale, wiry and dishevelled. This is proven to be the optimal performance state. Those who have yet to reach this preferred body type have either succumbed to the pressures of work or are on a strict diet that will help them to reach this optimal working condition. We realise you can’t change overnight, which is why we give you two nights to change your entire physical presence.

6. Respect Our Authority. We are aware of the rumours that have been illegally spread about us. Glukkons have been called “unfair,” “unreasonable,” and “unrelenting.” In fact, the only thing that is unfair, unreasonable and unrelenting are the rumours themselves. You’ll do well to remember this. Any employee found spreading, listening to and/or accommodating such rumours will be dealt with in a swift and just manner.

7. Show Some Appreciation. We don’t ask for much during your employment. However, the opportunity you have been afforded is not an insignificant one, so be sure to show some appreciation from time-to-time. This could be in the form of a simple bow when in the presence of your superiors. It could be in the form of working even harder. It could even be in the form of volunteering yourself to take part in trials for new products. It’s always nice to have a choice.
7 simple steps, one goal: Retain your employment, elongate your existence and finally be a part of something amazing.

*and life.