Description

About

Published: 1998
Host: Oddworld.com
Format: Publised Online

The Article

NAME: ABE
OCCUPATION: FORMER SLAVE/MUDOKON MESSIAH
FAVORITE MOVIE: HOFFA
BASE OF OPERATIONS: ODDWORLD
HEIGHT: 5′8″
WEIGHT: 92LBS
CATCH PHRASES: ‘HELLO’ ‘FOLLOW ME’ ‘SORRY’
ORIGIN: ABE THOUGHT HIS TROUBLES WERE OVER AFTER SHUTTING DOWN RUPTUREFARMS MEAT PACKING PLANT. JUST AFTER HE WAS ACCEPTING THE PRAISE AND ADULATION FROM HIS MUDOKON BRETHEN, THREE MUDKON SPIRITS APPEAR AND TELL HIM HE’S GOT ANOTHER QUEST. GLUKKONS ARE NOW USING MUDOKON BONES TO MAKE BREW!
POWERS: WHILE SMALL IN STATURE, AND SOMEWHAT FEEBLE IN BRAIN, BEING THE CHOSEN ONE DOES HAVE ITS PERKS. ABE CAN TURN INVISIBLE, AND HAS THE ABILITY TO POSSESS AND CONTROL ANY CREATURE HE COMES ACROSS—FROM THE MEASLY SLURG TO THE MIGHTY SCRAB.
HE’S ALSO GOT A MIGHTY, MIGHTY FART WHICH HE CAN CONTROL AND MAKE EXPLODE. WHEN NEEDED ABE CAN SLAP AN ENEMY SILLY OF TRANSFORM HIMSELF INTO THE ALL‐POWERFUL SHRYKULL.

NAME: MUDOKONS
HOME: ODDWORLD
NUMBER OF MUDOKONS IN MENSA: 0
NATIONAL PASSTIME: BEING OPPRESSED
FAVOURITE VOLTAGE: 220
ORIGIN: THE MUDOKONS WERE ONCE ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL CREATURES ON ODDWORLD. BUT OVER TIME, THROUGH WAYS NO ONE IS QUITE SURE OF, THEY LOST THEIR PLACE OF POWER TO BECOME THE PUSHOVERS THEY ARE TODAY.
THEY SPEND MOST OF THIER TIME NOW BEING HASSLED BY ‘THE MAN,’ WHILE EKING OUT A MEAGER EXISTANCE AS SLAVE LABOUR IN GLUKKON FACTORIES THAT WOULD MAKE EVEN KATHIE LEE CRINGE. MUDOKONS ARE VERY EMOTIONAL PEOPLE VACILLATING FROM ONE EXTREME TO THE OTHER. ONE MOMENT THEY ARE SUICIDALLY DEPRESSED—BUT A BIG HUG AND A ‘SORRY’ MAKES THEM ALL BETTER.
MUDOKONS LOVE A GOOD FART JOKE, AND NO ONE IS BETTER AT THE FART GAG THAN THEIR LEADER ABE. THEY LITERALLY GO INTO HYSTERICS AND USUALLY REQUIRE A GOOD SLAP IN THE FACE TO KNOCK THEM BACK TO THEIR SENSES.

NAME: NECRUM SPIRITS
PREVIOUS OCCUPATION: LIVING
CURRENT OCCUPATION: GHOSTS
BASE OF OPERATIONS: NECRUM MINES
FAVOURITE ACCESSORY: FUNNY HATS
LEAST FAVORITE OTHER GHOST: PATRICK SWAYZE
ORIGINS: THESE THREE MUDOKONS WERE RESTING ION PEACE IN THE NECRUM MUDOKON BURIAL GROUNDS WHEN THEY WERE AWAKENED BY THE SOUND OF GLUKKON HEAVY MACHINERY BEING USED TO STRIP MINE NECRUM FOR BONES AS AN INGREDIENT FOR SOULSTORM BREW.
THEIR ONLY HOPE FOR A RESTFUL ETERNITY LAY WITH ABE—THE UNLIKELIEST OF HEROS. GUIDE HIM, THEY WILL. STRONG WITH THE FORCE IS ABE, ERR WRONG FILM, BUT YOU GET THE POINT.

NAME: GENERAL DRIPIK, VICE-PRESIDENT ASLIK, DIRECTOR PHLEG
OCCUPATIONS: HEADS OF SOULSTORM BREWERY
RETURN VIDEOS: UNREWOUND (EVIL!)
TIPS: 5% (EVIL!)
BELIEVE SOULSTORM BREW BEST SERVED WITH: WHITEFISH
ORIGINS: AFTER THE FALL OF RUPTURE FARMS MEAT PACKING PLANT, MOLLUK, THE CEO, OF RUPTURE FARMS, ENTRUSTED THE COMPANY’S SOULSTORM BREWERY TO THIS LESS THAN COMPETENT TRIO. WITH THE MEAT PACKING PLANT NOW CLOSED, THE FIRST ITEM OF BUSINESS WAS TO FIND A NEW SOURCE OF BONES FOR THEIR BREW WHICH THEY FOUND TO BE PLENTIFUL AT THE NECRUM MUDOKON BURIAL GROUNDS. SO THEY STARTED A MINING OPERATION TO UNEARTH THEIR NEW CROP, AND HOOKED MUDOKONS UP TO ELECTRODES TO PRODUCE THE ACTIVE INGREDIENT IN SOULSTORM BREW MUDOKON TEARS! IT USED TO BE ABOUT THE BREW WITH THESE 3, NOW IT’S ALL ABOUT PROFIT.

NAME: BREWMASTER GLUKKON
OCCUPATION: BREWMASTER, THATS WHY HE’S CALLED ‘BREWMASTER GLUKKON’
BASE OF OPERATIONS: SOULSTORM BREWERY
HEIGHT: 7 FT.
WEIGHT: 100LBS.
THINKS MICROBREWS ARE FOR: SUV-DRIVING SISSIES
POWERS: LOVED BY MONSTER TRUCK DRIVERS ALL OVER ODDWORLD, THE BREWMASTER HOLDS POWER SUPREME OVER THE BARLEY AND THE HOPS. HE DEVELOPED A NEW BREW PARADIGM WHEN HE STARTED USING REAL MUDOKON BONES AND TEARS IN HIS TASTY CONCOCTION. THE BREWMASTER IS ONLY INTERESTED IN ONE THING: QUALITY.THE GENIUS BEHIND SUCH DELECTABLE CRAFT BREWS AS CARDIAC PORTER, FLAIL ALE AND EYEWASH STOUT, THE BREWMASTER IS ALWAYS STRIVING FOR THAT PERFECT ADDICTIVE TASTE. NOW IF HE COULD JUST CONVINCE GENERAL DRIPIK THAT ‘THE SOULSTORM BIKINI TEAM’ IS A GOOD IDEA…

NAME: MOLLUCK
OCCUPATION: PROFESSIONAL BASTARD
AGE: SEEMS LIKE FOREVER
BASE OF OPERATIONS: WHERE-EVER A BUCK CAN BE MADE ON ODDWORLD
HEIGHT: 7 FT.
WEIGHT: 100.25 LBS (100 WITHOUT THE CIGAR)
FAVORITE CIGAR: SURPRISINGLY SWISHER SWEETS
ORIGIN: MOLLUCK ROSE QUICKLY THROUGH THE RUPTURE FARMS CORPORATION TO BECOME CEO. THOUGH MANY BELIEVE IT WAS HIS CHARM AND BOYISH GOOD LOOKS THAT GOT HIM THERE, IT WAS ACTUALLY HIS FEROCITY AND PURE EEEE‐VILLNESS IN PURSUIT OF THE BOTTOM LINE. MOLLUCK’S MISSION IS TO PROVIDE ODDWORLD WITH THE TASTY TREATS THEY LOVE—NO MATTER WHAT THE COST.
POWERS: MOLLUCK REIGNS SUPREME AT RUPTURE FARMS, HIS WORD IS LAW, COMMANDING AN ARMY OF SECURITY FORCES WHOSE ONLY MISSION IS TO STAMP OUT INFIDELS. HE ALSO HAS THE KEY TO THE SUPPLY CLOSET.

NAME: FLYING SLIGS, SLIGS AND CRAWLING SLIGS
BASE OF OPERATIONS: WHEREVER THE GLUKKONS SEND THEM
COLOURS: FALL
WEIGHT: 200 LBS (100 WITHOUT THE METAL PANTS OR WINGS)
LEAST FAVORITE MUDOKON: ABE
POWERS: CORRUPT, LAZY AND SADISTIC, SLIGS ARE SOLDIERS BRED BY THE GLUKKONS. SHOOTING FIRST AND ASKING QUESTIONS LATER IS THEIR FORTE, THAT IS, WHEN THEY AREN’T CATCHING A QUICK NAP WHILE THE GLUKKONS AREN’T LOOKING. OUTFITTING THEMSELVES WITH EITHER THE STYLISH METAL PANTS OR MECHANICAL WINGS, SLIGS ARE ALWAYS MOBILE, ALWAYS TRIGGER‐HAPPY AND ALWAYS PRET-A-PORTER

NAME: GREETERS
OCCUPATION: BEVERAGE DISPENSER/KILL-CRAZY ROBOTIC MENACE (BUT REALLY IT WANTS TO DIRECT)
BASE OF OPERATIONS: SOULSTORM BREWERY
HEIGHT: 4 FT.
WEIGHT: 168 LBS.
KUNG-FU TECHNIQUE: DRUNKEN FIST.
POWERS: ORIGINALLY CREATED BY THE VYKKERS TO BE AGGRESSIVE, SELF‐PROMOTING BEVERAGE DISPENSING MACHINES, THE GREETERS TURNED OUT TO BE A LITTLE TOO EFFECTIVE AT HOOKING IN THEIR POTENTIAL CUSTOMERS. INSTEAD OF SELLING A FROSTY BEVERAGE, GREETERS USUALLY WOUND UP FATALLY ELECTROCUTING THIRSTY PATRONS. UNABLE TO FIX THE BUGS, THE GLUKKONS DECIDED THAT GREETERS MADE FAR BETTER SECURITY DEVICES THAN SALESMEN.

NAME: SLOGS & SLOGGIES
OCCUPATION: SLIG PETS
BASE OF OPERATIONS: WHERE EVER THERE ARE SLIGS
HEIGHT: 2 FT. (FULLY GROWN)
WEIGHT: 80LBS TEETH: MANY, AND SHARP
FAVORITE MEAL: ABE
POWERS: PATHOLOGICALLY TEMPERAMENTAL, SLOGS ARE EVER ALERT FOR THE SMELL OF FEAR. THEY LOVE TO CHEW, PREFERABLY ON RUNAWAY MUDOKON SLAVES. THEIR RAZOR SHARP INCISORS AND OVERLY DEVELOPED MOUTH CONTINUE TO POSE A THREAT TO ABE AND HIS PEOPLE, AND GOOD DENTAL HYGENISTS EVERYWHERE.THEY ALSO CONFUSE FLYING SLIGS FOR FRISBEES.

NAME: FLEECHES
OCCUPATION: SEWER DWELLERS
BASE OF OPERATIONS: WHERE-EVER A GLUKKON HAS FLUSHED THEM
OFTEN CONFUSED WITH: GENE SIMMONS OF KISS
TONGUE LENGTH: 4 FT. (FULLY EXTENDED)
ORIGINS: ORIGINALLY CREATED BY THE VYKKERS TO BE THE PERFECTLY ENGINEERED PET, THOSE WACKY VYKKERS SCIENTISTS ACCIDENTALLY CREATED THE WORLD’S LONGEST TOUNGES, WHICH THEY FIRST THOUGHT WOULD BE PERFECT FOR CLEANING THOSE HARD TO REACH PLACES. GLUKKONS LOVED THEM.)
BUT TEST MARKETS SHOWED FLEECHES PREFERRED BITING TO CLEANLINESS, AND UNFORTUNATELY DEVELOPED A TASTE FOR THEIR GLUKKON OWNERS AS THEY GREW.
FLEECHES ARE STILL SOLD AS PETS, THEY ARE JUST FLUSHED DOWN THE COMMODE WHEN THEY GET CARNIVOROUS. WINDING UP WHEREVER THE SEWER TAKES THEM, FLEECHES HANG OUT IN AREAS WHERE MUDOKONS MIGHT STOP BY. MWAH-AH-AH-AHHHHHH!

NAME: SCRABS
OCCUPATION: TAP DANCING, ASS-KICKER
BASE OF OPERATIONS: ODDWORLD
HEIGHT: 6 FT.
WEIGHT: 275 LBS. (BEEFCAKE)
PET PEEVES: RAINY DAYS, ABE AND OTHER SCRABS
POWERS: SCRABS ARE VICIOUSLY TERRITORIAL CREATURES WHO WOULD KILL ONE OF THEIR OWN JUST FOR LOOKING AT THEM FUNNY. WITH THEIR MENACING ATTITUDE AND POWERFUL JAWS, THE SCRABS ARE ONE OF ODDWORLDS MOST DEADLY FOES.

NAME: PARAMITES
OCCUPATION: FULL TIME CAVE DWELLER
LENGTH: 4 FT.
WEIGHT: 50 LBS
BASE OF OPERATIONS: RUPTURE FARMS
PET PEEVES: MUDOKONS
LEAST FAVORITE OBSERVATION: ‘HEY BUDDY, YOU KNOW YOU GOT A HAND FOR A FACE?’
POWERS: WHILE THEY LOOK HARMLESS ENOUGH, PARAMITES ARE A FEARED ENEMY AMONG THE CAVES AND CATACOMBS OF RUPTURE FARMS. THEY ARE QUICK TO SWARM WHEN AN ENEMY IS CORNERED, AND WELL, AFTER THAT, THERE’S A LOT OF BITING WITH TEETH AND SHOUTING AND SHOVING.

NAME: SLURGS
OCCUPATION: FLEECH GROUPIES
BASE OF OPERATIONS: DIRECTLY UNDERNEATH FLEECHES
DIET: FLEECH DUNG, MADE WITH REAL FLEECHY GOODNESS
REPULSIVE: YES
FAVORITE SMELL: NAPALM IN THE MORNING
ORIGIN: LITTLE IS KNOWN ABOUT THE COMPLETELY DISGUSTING SLURGS. THEY EXIST UNDER FLEECH NESTING GROUNDS, LIVING OFF THEIR WASTE.
THE ONLY REAL TALENT SLURGS HAVE IS TO SQUEAK WHENEVER THEY ARE STEPPED ON BY A MUDOKON. IT’S NOT MUCH, BUT IT’S ENOUGH TO WARN THE FLEECHES WHO THEN GORGE ON THE TASTY INTRUDER AND PASS THE SAVINGS ON TO THE SLURGS.