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Interns are the subservient species to the Vykkers, filling menial administrative tasks such as filing, porting and checking up on experiments. The also act as the security force in Vykkers’ facilities, equipped with the latest consumer goods weaponry.

Interns are loyal lackeys, highly supportive of Vykkers’ work despite the skanky conditions of their servitude, and are every bit as sadistic in their scientific methodology. They are incredibly contemptible and frequently share their dismay at the philosophy and behaviour of other cultures with one another. They are entirely concerned with their own culture, and spend their spare time hunkering for the latest in fashion swimwear and designer pharmaceuticals and listening to their beloved punk rock and techno grooves. Interns steal from Vykkers’ drugs cabinets, pepping themselves up with pilfered pharmaceuticals.


Interns have long canoe‐like heads, along which runs a vertical slit of a mouth only ever seen stitched up—​they are surgically prevented from whistling while they work. They have two small, prehensile horns which are used to express feelings. Their spindly arms end with five long spidery fingers that pack a mean slap, and their feet normally appear to be stitched‐up stumps. Due to their long working shifts, most Interns have succumbed to Melted Candle Syndrome. Interns usually adorn themselves with trendy purple‐ and yellow‐striped Speedos with matching reversed baseball caps and their excessively loud headphones.